Quiet Leadership In Hospitality

Becky Coultish

October 25

It was wonderful to meet up with Becky and chat over topics including mental health, teamwork, personal growth, and what being part of the Hospitality Junior Board has meant for her.

We met in the elegant surroundings of The Grand, York, a setting that on the face of it can contrast with the realities of working in hospitality, especially when stepping into management. Our conversation centred on the pressures of the industry and the importance of creating a healthy workplace, not just for individuals but for teams and businesses alike. As always, I began with my go-to opening question – not out of habit, but because it invites people to speak about what truly matters to them.

Me: So Becky, wonderful to see you – what do you want to talk about today?

B: I’m passionate about mental health in the workplace. It’s something I’ve struggled with personally.

Me: I hear that a lot and am always curious to what that actually means – what does it mean for you?

B: For me, it’s about having a safe space, literally, like an office I can retreat to, but also emotionally. It’s about being able to be myself, without judgement, and knowing it’s okay to feel how I feel. It’s also about having people to talk to, whether about work or life. I think businesses should treat mental health training like first aid. The Barbican is very busy and of course I am expected to, and do work very hard, but I also get that “me” support, and it’s why I love working there.

Me: That’s brilliant to hear. The sector needs more of that to help young people commit to hospitality as a career and stick with it. What does good mental health look like for you?

B: I know I’m in a good place when I can switch off on my days off and actually enjoy them. That work doesn’t dominate every second of every day. What it also means is that I am much better, more effective at work and that has to be good for everyone, our visitors, team and the company.

Me: Apologies for interrupting but that reminds me, years ago, a boss once said, “enjoy your days off and recover – we’ve got a busy week ahead.” At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but now I realise how odd it was to frame time off as “recovery” rather than enjoyment?

B: Exactly. At the Barbican, things are well organised (which I am part of), so I can switch off. If something urgent comes up, of course I’ll help, but it’s not expected. In previous roles, I’d spend my days off exhausted, slumped in front of the TV, unable to switch off. That’s not healthy, physically or mentally. I need time for myself, whether that’s with friends, family, or just doing something I enjoy. It used to be rugby, before I was injured in a car accident.

Me: Would you be comfortable sharing more about that?

B: Sure. It was during Covid, when I was about 20. The accident meant I couldn’t play rugby anymore. Suddenly, I lost the team, the exercise, the fresh air, the goals – it all disappeared. Along with being locked down and all the uncertainty I, like many others, really struggled. I want to work, I need to feel part of a team, I want to progress, and have something to work towards. I tried a few things but eventually made the move to where I am now which I am loving.

Me: You’ve clearly now found a good fit but I know from experience that making that move isn’t always easy?

B: It’s easy to say “you should’ve moved” in hindsight, but at the time, you just keep your head down, work hard, and hope it gets better. Eventually, the penny dropped, and I made the decision to leave, helped by being approached about a new role!

Me: I imagine there would have been signs so how can employers, how do you, spot when someone’s struggling?

B: The signs are subtle. Like many I’ve never been comfortable talking about how I feel. I’d turn up, work hard, and get the job done. But if someone’s spark has gone, if they’re distancing themselves, not volunteering for extra shifts, or their body language changes – those are signs.

Me: So it’s about knowing and caring about your team well enough to notice those shifts?

B: Yes. I like to think I can “just tell” when something’s off – because I know my team well.

Me: What if someone’s performance is affected for various reasons but they won’t open up, even when you have “spotted the signs” and are encouraging them to talk?

B: It’s tough. You might ask a close colleague to check in with them. You have to keep trying, but yes, they also need to want to help themselves.

Me: So in summary what I am hearing is:

• Really get to know your team
• Look for subtle changes and act when appropriate
• Remember we’re all human
• Encourage open conversations and personal responsibility
• Understand that wellbeing drives performance
• Value time off
• Plan effectively
• Seek help – whether you’re the employer or the employee

Me: Let’s change topic. We’re three-quarters through the Hospitality Junior Board programme – what’s it been like for you?

B: I’ve loved it. Meeting everyone, learning from them, it’s been amazing. I’ve only ever worked in F&B, so hearing from people in parts of hospitality such as reception, sales or the spa has been eye-opening. I’ve made close friends who already help me in my role. Some of them are so confident and accomplished, and even though I’m “just a supervisor,” they make me feel important and welcome.

I’ve really enjoyed the learning and development sessions, especially the “spider web” exercise, it’s helped me identify areas to work on with my mentor. The sessions are fun, with games and fresh air, which makes a big difference.

Me: That’s great to hear. Whilst the HJB has 5 objectives, I believe the one which is “building a supportive community” has struck a chord with you and also resonates with the main topic we have discussed today.

So what’s next for Becky?

B:I’m working towards my first formal manager role. I’ve been able to suggest ideas like ways to grow spend per head, and not only are they recognised by my boss and GM, they’re actually implemented. That’s huge for my confidence.

I’m realistic about what I can achieve and when, so I’m taking small steps. And with the Barbican being part of Legends Global, there could be future opportunities too.

Me: Thank you Becky!

For me, Becky’s story is one of resilience, growth, and quiet leadership. From navigating personal challenges and a life-changing accident to becoming a “quietly confident” advocate for mental health in hospitality, she brings insight and empathy to every part of her role. Her reflections remind us that good management starts with human connection, knowing your team, valuing their time, and creating space for honest conversations.

Through the Hospitality Junior Board, Becky has found new confidence, fresh perspectives, and a sense of belonging that’s helping her shape the next chapter of her career, with purpose, pride, and a clear voice.